I Become You
by that is secret
Summary: Kagome POV - Kagome wonders about what Kikyou was really like. Not for Kikyou-bashers *waves Kikyou flag* Was supposed to be shoujo ai, but more sisterly than anything.


A/N: I have to say, I really like Kikyou. I admit I didn't always, and yes, I realize that most people think she's an evil vindictive bitch. However, I think she's a great character with a hell of a lot of potential. In addition, she's versatile as a character and a plot device and what have you, but she herself is also wonderful. I can't really explain it, but DAMMIT Kikyou rocks! ^^ So please don't leave any reviews bashing her. *protectively hugs Kikyou* Thou shalt not harm my miko!  
  
  
  
I watch you walk away. Your hair swishes behind you as you turn, and your eyes blaze. It's the same emotions as always: love and anger. The person you adored betrayed you, and you can't forgive him. And you will literally drag him into hell before you let this go.   
  
I always wondered about Inuyasha's childhood. I wanted to know what made him so sullen; wanted to know how he could hurt so badly. But as I see you leave, your feet light upon the earth, I wonder about yours. I know so little about you. But I know that you were a child once; we all were. You could not have always been the miko. . .   
  
Or could you have?  
  
Was it always that way for you? Did the other children treat you differently? I don't doubt that you *were* different. You were the girl who would become the priestess. Even if no one knew that yet, it would be there. You would have a different glow. A different fire would burn inside you - the purifying fire, the enchanted flame. Children are so perceptive; they would be able to tell. Were they afraid of you for it? Did they mock you?   
  
What were your parents like? Kaede never speaks of them. Did they die when you were little? Or was it they that buried you? Did your mother like to brush your hair at night in front of the fire? Did your father give you piggy-back rides out to the fields? Did you and Kaede get along? I want to know if you plaited daises into chains of flowers like I did. I want to know if you daydreamed like I do about growing up and falling in love; I want to know how you found out that you had a miko's powers. I want to know how you dealt with it.   
  
Did you like to walk along the river, skipping stones in the water? Did you flirt with the village boys? You were probably too serious; you wouldn't lead them on. But I know that once upon a time, before your only reason for "life" was hate, you were kind and gentle. I can see it in your undead eyes. Once upon a time, you were a teenaged girl.   
  
What was your laugh like? What was your favorite song? And what about your best friend? Did you have one? What was her name? Did you look at the stars at night and wish on them? Did you ever cry yourself to sleep, their sky-twinkles in your blurry eyes? Who was your first kiss?   
  
I don't know you. I don't know you at all. The only things I know are what I've been told and what I've gathered; those little shreds of information gleaned from Kaede and Inuyasha and a few old people in the village. I don't always see - don't see your motivations, your passions, your reasons. It's why I'd like to know you.   
  
But in this strange way, I understand. In this strange way, I love you. To hate you would be to hate myself. You are the other part of my soul; you ARE my soul. I am you, you are me. We look alike. We sound alike. We smell alike. We are the same soul with different experiences.   
  
Sometimes, when I think about your death and your life, I find that I start thinking in the first person. I start thinking as if I am you. And with every bit deeper I delve, every tiny step I come closer to your truth, I become you. Not the you that you are now, but the you that you must have been. It comforts me. I don't know how I can recognize this, because your life is a secret to me. But in my heart, I realize that we are the same, that we are not separate. Each laugh - I become you. Each word - I become you. Each thought - I become you. Each breath, each step, each smile, each tear, each cry - I become you.   
  
  
  
*finito*  
  
:::come on - Kikyou likes reviews as much as she likes souls!::: 


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